No Player Left Behind

I haven't followed the NFL lockout that closely over the past few months. Not being a hardcore pro football fan and this being the offseason, I don't think it's a big deal. I'm more interested in what's been happening in Major League Baseball and the PGA Tour to care about what public park NFL players are holding fake practices in. Add in the fact that ESPN has a horrible habit of reporting non-stories and trying to generate attention for ridiculous issues - I find it all boring. Everyone talks about the general public choosing to side with the owners or players, and I think that's an ignorant view to take. Similar to politics, both sides can take major responsibility for the problems the league is facing and neither can point the finger solely at the other party. That said, my opinion has been swayed a bit due to some unexpected comments.

Due to alleged "progress" that has been made in negotiations over the past week, a number of current NFL players and team representatives have been interviewed on major media outlets and asked about the state of affairs with the league. These interviews have been some of the most entertaining things I've seen in a while. It's amazing how many NFL players have the ability to make up words when trying to sound like they know what they are talking about. They call more audibles on proper vocabulary than Peyton Manning calls against a Rex Ryan defense. When asked questions about negotiations and expectations the union has, we get to hear players use words like "fairestness" and "maximumest." Thank you for your profound thoughts Takeo Spikes & Ray Rice. Next, said players talk about not receiving any respect from the owners. Maybe the owners don't respect them because they don't understand what they are saying? I love that we have men arguing over billions of dollars while many of them are unable to use correct grammar and put a complete sentence together.

"I didn't understand anything he said!"

I'm not making the all too common argument that football players are dumb. I hear that all the time and I think it's ridiculous. These guys spend countless hours studying film, playbooks, and schemes and many of them are very complicated. As much as I think I understand reading a zone blitz or a blocking scheme because of what I've seen from playing Xbox, it's probably a little different in the NFL. Most of these players have a tremendous work ethic and push themselves to physically unhealthy levels for the sake of competition. Whether or not that is intelligent is an entirely different discussion. I think they simply live in a world where academics are secondary. Unlike most of us, academics haven't served a purpose for them in terms of income or success, and they have been able to use their athletic abilities, which is perfectly fine. Doesn't mean they don't sound like idiots in an interview.

As part of the new CBA, I think NFL owners should require players to take some sort of basic English/grammar class. We're not talking about anything too complex. No need to register them at the local community college during the offseason for a May-mester session. I'm thinking a couple weeks in a 1st or 2nd grade class will do the trick. Please learn how to use the correct tense of a verb. Please learn how to use a proper pronoun. Please play each other in Words with Friends.

It's what the NFL needs. No Player Left Behind!